"Day Of The Disdained"

[PMP_Or_Better]

[center]Practice Makes Perfect Or Better...[/center][center]This day is a day of the disdained
The day of the mislaid things that have been maimed
The day of the assuaging poets who will get played
The vigorous ignorance that really can afflict brains
Intense pains to be a proficient big name
In a big frame full of preeminent lit flames
Who are masters...
While the neophytes who need to write
Get treated like a there an entire pot of overheated rice
Can't we all be genuine tonight and reunite
With literal lyrical lessons and mess with a beast's advice
Jesus Christ! That's okay though I don't need the hype
It's better to be piss warm right before the tea and ice
I'm not seeing why you got it but you get more
So get lost before I get violent or I get pissed off
It's only a verse, it ain't only a verse
When you work hard and you have to over exert
To enthuse one another when you lonely and hurt
And all you wanted was someone to look over your worth
How irritating, my mind's tired but my sprit's racing
On the road of mixed emotions try to steer relations
Antipathy really can hand generations
An advance sickly, indignant, and damned situation
Especially from the perspective of a writer
Who respects another writer but is stepped on like a spider
A resolute incredible person who's an acceptable lyricist
Is the eeriest because there is no pedestal
Hold up...doesn't that seem farfetched to you
So your a lame, cause nobody is a pet to you
But I will let it move, no discontinuance
Even if the process don't make any sense
Just aim for the top even if you miss
This day's disdained for the lyricists...[/center]
[center]fly-away-vt25845.html#p192257
sini-moonlight-vt25836.html#p192258[/center]

[MonuMental]

Your vocab is inredible, man. What can I say, I incorporate a lot of it into my pieces and I just enjoy seeing it done by other artists. This was a nice piece with a clearly defined message, a fact for which I salute you. Here's what I thought were the hardest bars:


It's only a verse, it ain't only a verse
When you work hard and you have to over exert
To enthuse one another when you lonely and hurt
And all you wanted was someone to look over your worth
How irritating, my mind's tired but my sprit's racing
On the road of mixed emotions try to steer relations
Antipathy really can hand generations
An advance sickly, indignant, and damned situation


Damn good job, man. Stay up.

[PMP_Or_Better]

Thank you it means A LOT. Especially coming from a lyricist such as yourself. I really appreciate it. I will stay up.

[ Post made via iPod ]

[Momeijah]

I agree with monumental on the stand out bars but as a whole the verse kept the same tone. I think the tone was intensified in that section though I liked the emotion and aggression. Sometimes pieces like that lack things like vocab etc but this was the best of both worlds. Keep it up I wanna see more from you.

[ Post made via iPod ]