Visions

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Haz
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Visions

Post by Haz »

[center]Visions should be priority to those who Got Eyes
I disagree with the bullshit most cops try
Soberness is a fairy tale it never stops by
Sometimes I forget what its like to be not high
Spiritual beyond belief, though God is real
He sent me a message and had my problems sealed
Iv'e been guarded by a invisible shield my whole life
No matter how high I am, it doesn't compare to my Soul's height
Use to be the cold type.. Knowing what being in a hole's like
Till my feelings were in my hands when I would hold mics
My lungs are the shrinks couches..my therapy is smoking
There sleeping on the mind of man who's Spiritually Awoken
I'm living the dream.. Enjoying Peace And Quiet..
Ceased the riot..Sobbing doesn't Exist when your Forbidden To scream
Ain't a Predator But I look at the youth with open arm's..
Telling um squeeze every gain out success..Try not to Soak In Harm[/center]
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Momeijah
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Re: Visions

Post by Momeijah »

As good as this is it ain't as good as the last one I fed from you. Flow and rhymes were good as usual but the lines that stuck out to me the most were the ones about feelings in your hands and lungs being a couch. I like metaphors like that and I enjoyed the piece as a whole. The end was a bit bland though, but still cool.

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AKA SCOTCH HALL, MOE MEIJER & MOMEIJAH.
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MonuMental
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Re: Visions

Post by MonuMental »

Visions should be priority to those who Got Eyes
I disagree with the bullshit most cops try
Soberness is a fairy tale it never stops by
Sometimes I forget what its like to be not high

I like the schemes you opened up with here. Cool end multies.

Spiritual beyond belief, though God is real
He sent me a message and had my problems sealed
Iv'e been guarded by a invisible shield my whole life
No matter how high I am, it doesn't compare to my Soul's height

Lovin the second bar here, the "Soul's height" part was nicely done.

Use to be the cold type.. Knowing what being in a hole's like
Till my feelings were in my hands when I would hold mics

This is the hardest bar in the piece, imo. Sick shit, man.

My lungs are the shrinks couches..my therapy is smoking
There sleeping on the mind of man who's Spiritually Awoken

I can dig where you were going with this.

I'm living the dream.. Enjoying Peace And Quiet..
Ceased the riot..Sobbing doesn't Exist when your Forbidden To scream
Ain't a Predator But I look at the youth with open arm's..
Telling um squeeze every gain out success..Try not to Soak In Harm

The first bar of the closer kinda fell off with the consistently of the earlier schemes, but the second was cool. A pretty solid closer, again I like what you've done with the multies.

Like Mo said, your last drop was crushing hard, my guy, but this one was consistent with your usual level of skill, I'd say. It seems that, in every piece, you manage to sneak in those one or two turns of phrase that just blow my mind. Like with the "painted on" pills. That's classic material, in my eyes. Anyways, stay up, my dude.
[center]Peel back the facade and behold a bold insanity,
With no repose or vanity, composed of inhumanity.[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Illest Awards For 2011:
Text MC of the Year- MonuMental
Class of 2011- MonuMental, Enlightend, 3rd String, CBK, and Pest
Writer of the Year- MonuMental
Written of the Year- MonuMental 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'[/center]

[center]a-series-of-unfortunate-events-vt23866.html[/center]
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Glamtrash
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Re: Visions

Post by Glamtrash »

After reading their feed ^, I had to go look at the other one lol. They're right. Its not that this one is bad, just.... Keeping consistent? Lol I haven't slept in awhile, If you don't know what I mean I'll elaborate later. I've definitely read better from you.

"Sobbing doesn't Exist when your
Forbidden To scream"

^Fucking beautiful, dude.

They can't all be aces lol. You know I think you're a great writer. Keep 'em comin!

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PMP_Or_Better
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Re: Visions

Post by PMP_Or_Better »

Based on everything that was said above it seems like you have even written better pieces then this one, but it doesn't matter. I'm glad that you're maintaining it's always good for a lyricist to keep writing. This piece is still great though, I like your awareness of the world and your nonchalant attitude. For the most part I agree with what everyone said and I look forward to seeing more of your work. Good shit.
[center]Practice, Persistance, & Peserverance[/center] [center]Image[/center]
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