Work in Progress: Something I'm working on

[THE DEVIL]

Unleashing black words on white pages, keepin meanins locked in words, like birds in tight cages/
Until im free. Read between my lion's (lines) rages , while im spidering truth on ya rap web pages/
Light to the blind like colors to a racist,I guess we'll never know how far a little hate can take us/
Sound to the deaf like a jew to the nazis, I say if we survive this auschwitz.. then nothin can break us/
Aint gon' open old wounds,but die later or know soon,life isnt a pre-1960's TV "black" and "white" cartoon/
Real people with real families doomed, Innocents slaughtered without care, childrens life cut so soon/
Cant hide the injustices in books, The rib-caged heart beats for freedom of the oppressed closed mind/
a hundred years cant hide the way lynched bodies hung from trees like clothes hang from clothes lines/

[AntiMaTTer]

Unleashing black words on white pages, keepin meanins locked in words, like birds in tight cages/
Until im free. Read between my lion's (lines) rages , while im spidering truth on ya rap web pages/
Light to the blind like colors to a racist,I guess we'll never know how far a little hate can take us/

the best lines so far. the further it got the more akward the flow became to me. if youre going to be doing long lines use more inner rhymes and multis
but was a pretty solid piece starting out

[Gravvity]

^agreed.. you started out strong but it got choppy but the meanings still hit hard maybe we could collab you speak my language man hit me up

[ Post made via Android ]