Compare or vote!!

Drop your written rhymes in one of the largest collections of original rhymes on the internet. The feedback in our Written Rhymes section will simply amaze you.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend

Post Reply
User avatar
PyDizZLE21
Novice
Posts: 68
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2012 7:51 am
Wins: 2
Losses: 2

Compare or vote!!

Post by PyDizZLE21 »

My verse......


Heres your verse Mr.Green

Fag you knw I'm Hot with Words, When I drop get Served...//
If Scotts a Herb then quit ur bitchin and Drop a Verse!...//
Or end up Boxed in Church, Fag, phony, Lame fukk...//
Bitch Only battles homies whens his changes upp...//
U stay ducked, Ur puns are weak u don't want the Beef...//
Cuz my "base-Ball", so I'm on top of the green monster like Upper Seats...//
This fukk is Sweet u ain't touchin p,cuz for instance hes Gay...//
Hes neck gets chopped put ya head in a box like NFL refs lookin at Instant Replay...//
Fukk mean!, fags soul is Frail...//
So I'll crush Green and Smoke an L...//
Matter Fact Fukk Green!,this a Black Rap in my Black Fad, I got sum Black Mags...//
Ina black hat an a Black mask, shootin Black bullets to put u in a Black Bag!...//
Ur wack fag, all in all ur a bitch and Ur sawed off isn't Shit...//
How about a sawed off to the hip or using every murder tech from saw one thru six!...//
Every word I'm spittin hurts cuz I serve Precision...//
Hes like ur rhymes are gay and ur lines are played, which is every Verse U've written!...//



leerio Green Verse:



ok its feasting time polygraph him i dont believe this guy,
i'll reach inside eat his pride now thats a fuckin pizza pie

you couldnt see green riding john deer eating lime jello reading hulk comics,
its no contest yo honest the best thing you could say is no comment

i'm proud to be the guy to tell this sissy his texts weak,
lets peep if he didnt toot his own horn wouldnt dizzy get less beat

py will never top me so to slice pie i wont need an uppercut,
potty training kids the only time you'll ever hear p is number 1

this faggot is done if theres a doctor in the building hand him a crutch,
seriously this dude was dizzy before i landed a punch

peace






Now I want to knw which verse was better or who u would vote for explain urself plz....

User avatar
cyanidesyn
Lyrically Inclined
Posts: 124
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:05 am
Wins: 1
Losses: 1

Re: Compare or vote!!

Post by cyanidesyn »

i dnt break down verses dnt feel a need 2... its 2 time consuming mvgt py

Enlightend
Poetically Speaking
Posts: 429
Joined: Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:33 am
Wins: 17
Losses: 3
Location: Boston MA

Re: Compare or vote!!

Post by Enlightend »

Ok well py ur shot was stretched without a good rhyme scheme at times.... And short and to the point at others... So ur flow was choppy at best... The same goes for ur punches... Hits and misses... I liked the green monster line but I thought it could have been worded way better...

Leeroi major fail here punches were lacking a good... Well punch... U know Some umph... They were all just flat and simple with little to no lyrical content... I'm not a big fan of your lyrics but this was below your base line...
[center]-The Elitists-[/center]
[center]Image[/center]

User avatar
PyDizZLE21
Novice
Posts: 68
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2012 7:51 am
Wins: 2
Losses: 2

Re: Compare or vote!!

Post by PyDizZLE21 »

Nice thanks for the feed this was key so I'm not trippin.....

still think ur better than me leeroi right hahaha ur a joke....

User avatar
AntiMaTTer
Army Of Three
Posts: 716
Joined: Tue Aug 31, 2010 11:52 am
Wins: 16
Losses: 1
Contact:

Re: Compare or vote!!

Post by AntiMaTTer »

i didnt find his flow choppy. it flowed well for me. some parts were choppy-ish. but for the most part this is a solid diss i think.

ill get up at this later on when i dont have guests around.
Image

IL record:
16-1

User avatar
ScottJames
Army Of Three
Posts: 855
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 11:07 am
Wins: 25
Losses: 3
No Shows: 1
Location: Seattle
Contact:

Re: Compare or vote!!

Post by ScottJames »

Fag you knw I'm Hot with Words, When I drop get Served...//
If Scotts a Herb then quit ur bitchin and Drop a Verse!...//

DECENT. WORD THIS BETTER NEXT TIME..


Or end up Boxed in Church, Fag, phony, Lame fukk...//
Bitch Only battles homies whens his changes upp...//

I DONT GET IT..


U stay ducked, Ur puns are weak u don't want the Beef...//
Cuz my "base-Ball", so I'm on top of the green monster like Upper Seats...//

I LIKED MY GREEN MONSTER LINE BETTER.. THIS WAS AIIGHT THO


This fukk is Sweet u ain't touchin p,cuz for instance hes Gay...//
Hes neck gets chopped put ya head in a box like NFL refs lookin at Instant Replay...//

THIS WAS SICK!


Fukk mean!, fags soul is Frail...//
So I'll crush Green and Smoke an L...//

NO, BEYOND PLAYED


Matter Fact Fukk Green!,this a Black Rap in my Black Fad, I got sum Black Mags...//
Ina black hat an a Black mask, shootin Black bullets to put u in a Black Bag!...//

NO.


Ur wack fag, all in all ur a bitch and Ur sawed off isn't Shit...//
How about a sawed off to the hip or using every murder tech from saw one thru six!...//

THIS FLOWED DOPE AND I LIKED THE PUNCH


Every word I'm spittin hurts cuz I serve Precision...//
Hes like ur rhymes are gay and ur lines are played, which is every Verse U've written!...//

EH...




leerio Green Verse:



ok its feasting time polygraph him i dont believe this guy,
i'll reach inside eat his pride now thats a fuckin pizza pie

I GET IT, NOT BAD


you couldnt see green riding john deer eating lime jello reading hulk comics,
its no contest yo honest the best thing you could say is no comment

NO.


i'm proud to be the guy to tell this sissy his texts weak,
lets peep if he didnt toot his own horn wouldnt dizzy get less beat

NAH


py will never top me so to slice pie i wont need an uppercut,
potty training kids the only time you'll ever hear p is number 1

OLD CONCEPT, TOO PREDICTING THO..


this faggot is done if theres a doctor in the building hand him a crutch,
seriously this dude was dizzy before i landed a punch

EH..



VOTE: PY.. BARELY

LEEROI I CAN TELL DIDNT TAKE ANY TIME ON THIS..
IF U BOTH WOULD TAKEN MORE TIME IT WOULD BE CLOSER..
PY EDGED IT WITH SLIGHTLY BETTER PUNCHES..
Image
WINS:
Ekmos - KO ... Duc3 - KO ... Jesodist - KO ... MagicMark - KO ... Animul_Instinkz - KO ... Old Rotten - KO ... Dr Kevorkian - KO ... Ambition - KO ... Eclipse - KO ... Domino - 5-3 ... Crimson - KO ... MC Scars - KO ... Modern Defiance - KO ... Tempest - KO ... QwarterZ - KO ... TreTru - KO ... Quix - KO ... Grim/Leeroi Green - KO ... Knowmad - KO ... Cre@tiv3 - KO ... MVario - TKO ... Hazard - KO ... ER - KO ... Colossus - KO ... FlipSide - KO ... JackDaRippa - KO ... JSteel - KO ... Kau The Lion - KO ... 32Neilz - KO ... Evolution - TKO ... Shazo - KO ... CBK - KO
LOSSES:
Cee4 - 5-3
OVERALL:
31-1

Post Reply

Return to “Written Rhymes”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 11 guests