freestyle...

[smallsuno]

I feel like some votes received are full of hate,
lames pissed bcuz they lose...like they weren't gonna get baked/

end up with a broken face...for crossin SMALLS foul,
get shook up...and dunked on like that boy Yao/

stuck in the clouds...blowin cali's finest,
crown me your highest...my level you shouldn't try it/

legendary quotes...exploding from my throat,
mention my name...thats greatness you just spoke/

sick and twisted...deadly and demented,
rippin lames apart...yall kids just don't know the business/

for instants...over your head...my punches take flight,
wordplay is sharp as a road spike...im Muhamed Ali when it comes to a lyrical fight/

creative...couragous...dope emcee,
hot boxin a gold M3...with a local triple OG/

[Enlightend]

written-rhymes-rules-read-before-posting-vt25377.html read these rules... 24 hrs to post feed or this will be closed... till links are sent to a mod or admin

[smallsuno]

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/the-w ... 25282.html Link 1
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/p-o-w ... 25332.html Link 2

[QwarterZ]

This was alright, seems like you just started writing
need to up your vocab a lot, and work on your multi's
this kind of style is easy to do but you just need to know what your gonna say
I mean lines like "speak my name, and you just said greatness"
or whatever was cool...like in the 90's, try to get a lil' slicker with that
you'll figure it out sometime

[leeroi green]

remove just from your fourth bar

5th bar add so before demented much better multi and again remove just

final bar switch these, "hot boxin a gold M3...with a local triple OG/"

pretty nice for a free, try to keep your bars even keep drop more you can only get better

[smallsuno]

thanks for the feedback...i appreciate all tips...

[Shooter]

I enjoyed it man. it sounds more like a song rather than a written. So it had that audio flow to it.

[ Post made via iPhone ]

[smallsuno]

yeah...i do a lot of recording...I used to do this text shit all the time acouple of years ago...but I got more serious with recording...good lookin on the feedback tho...

[ant_emcees]

not bad hommie keep it up