Ambition

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Haz
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Ambition

Post by Haz »

Disappeared.. they're like wheres whats his Name I wonder
I'm Thinking a little different now.. Blame the hunger
Sedated..chilling.. its Pain I'm Under
Could teach you how to get in good shape,
Like I'm Training runners
In deep thought when It rains and thunders
My umbrella allows me not to Touch the Loot
Killing my bank account in silence.. a Touch Of Mute
I'll Build this pyramid with Determination..Luck's acute
my verses wearing the face of death.. what is Cute?
Crowded by problems i'm Rushing through..
Like I got to much to do..
Embracing this Black cloud like it keeps me Up when blue
Pills in my system.. that's Wassup it's true
The feelings my own.. The I feeling I own..
Its not wassup fa you..Don't let it influence please
I just got a few screws loose or a Nut or two..
Doing whatever as Man, Ambition For Life
i'll Never be finished cause I Never had a Plan
Iv'e carried myself for a stretch..Its Better I Expand
I'm An Accomplice If Moneys Involved
if you can never kick back and relax..
you ain't getting money at all
I'm far from wealthy so this might seem funny ta yall
But I'm slowly building my foundation i'll have Money in Walls
Programmed as a hustler.. Money Installed
No third route.. I'm either going to be Bummie Or Ball
Cause the middle seems like a Repeat button stuck
was Faith Full, but to get his Plate full hes fucking sluts
Wearing red trying to Escape Bull..
While I Puff I never Push to pass I just Take Pulls
I'm aiming for less bullshit and more cougars
Gotta hide what I treasure so I move my chest Like I'm rooting For Luger
Going through It .. No Prob, Turn one room ta Two..I'm a Door Mover
Patience is a gift..Gotta deal with the wait ..
No need to curl up on the Bench Like a Sore Loser..
Just work it out.. Ambition.. If you're wondering what is this Verse About
I Don't need ya opinions the people Talking Doubt me ..
But I slap um in the face while Speaking for Myself when they're Talking Bout Me! ..
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88SkyLink
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Re: Ambition

Post by 88SkyLink »

This was a good piece, it had a kind of spoken word feel. I'd expect this kind of shit on the poetry forum, cuz it seemed very poetic. I liked how you structured it, although for me, it did mess up the rhyme scheme a little bit, but apart from that, a good street-related poetry shit, keep it up.
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QwarterZ
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Re: Ambition

Post by QwarterZ »

this was cool Haz...looks like your not slacking at all..keep dropping breh...nice little flow on this...good use of vocab...smooth drop

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Haz
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Re: Ambition

Post by Haz »

thanks dude
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BennyBones
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Re: Ambition

Post by BennyBones »

was nice made since to me and had flow.... nothin wrong with poetic flow and use of words was visual... keep it up
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Defiance
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Re: Ambition

Post by Defiance »

i liked this man had a feeling of "fuck what you think, ima be me" type ish to it..

enjoyed it.. i like your writing style with the pauses as periods.. makes it easier to pick up on how you flowed it..

good content.. liked the emotion behind the words seemed meaningful and real..

nice shit bro..

keep rhyming
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Shooter
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Re: Ambition

Post by Shooter »

Good job I liked the flow I liked how it sounded like poetry but a rhyme also

Keep up the good work

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AntiMaTTer
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Re: Ambition

Post by AntiMaTTer »

you ain't getting money at all
I'm far from wealthy so this might seem funny ta yall
But I'm slowly building my foundation i'll have Money in Walls
Programmed as a hustler.. Money Installed
No third route.. I'm either going to be Bummie Or Ball
i like the flow on this part. ironically it went to that beat
that i just heard tre tru on "This feelin" which was funny.
but a solid piece thru out, the beginning made me wana add an extra
syllable like i kept wanted to say "BLAMING THE HUNGER" instead of blame the hunger. but solid piece dude. no complaints
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vanity
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Re: Ambition

Post by vanity »

nice topic loved it,


Disappeared.. they're like wheres whats his Name I wonder
I'm Thinking a little different now.. Blame the hunger
Sedated..chilling.. its Pain I'm Under
Could teach you how to get in good shape,
Like I'm Training runners

^^^ loved this

In deep thought when It rains and thunders
My umbrella allows me not to Touch the Loot
Killing my bank account in silence.. a Touch Of Mute
I'll Build this pyramid with Determination..Luck's acute
my verses wearing the face of death.. what is Cute?
Crowded by problems i'm Rushing through..
Like I got to much to do..

^^^ really feeling this i felt like i was in ur shoes

Embracing this Black cloud like it keeps me Up when blue
Pills in my system.. that's Wassup it's true
The feelings my own.. The I feeling I own..
Its not wassup fa you..Don't let it influence please
I just got a few screws loose or a Nut or two..

^^^ brilliant

Doing whatever as Man, Ambition For Life
i'll Never be finished cause I Never had a Plan
Iv'e carried myself for a stretch..Its Better I Expand

^^^ these were my favorite lines

I'm far from wealthy so this might seem funny ta yall
But I'm slowly building my foundation i'll have Money in Walls
Programmed as a hustler.. Money Installed

^^^ really liked how u say this

i enjoyed reading this u make it look so easy and the topic was awesome made it an interesting read, it was a great piece in my eyes!

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TreTru
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Re: Ambition

Post by TreTru »

uhmm yeah this was high on the lyrical side ..some
coo punches and metas for sure...that rythm is pretty
crazy..once i got a hold of it it was pretty good bro...
i feel what they mean about the poetic flo..your schemes
a lil more bouncy in this one but it all lines up imo...

Embracing this Black cloud like it keeps me Up when blue
Pills in my system.. that's Wassup it's true
The feelings my own.. The I feeling I own..
^^^^
this parts hella ill imo..

Its not wassup fa you..Don't let it influence please
I just got a few screws loose or a Nut or two..
^^^^
this next line broke the timing a lil..but i like the concept..

fyi the Pyramid Punch was hella ill imo...

all in all a very nice piece..esp compared to my writtens in here..haha.... good shit

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Def-init
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Re: Ambition

Post by Def-init »

"Disappeared.. they're like wheres whats his Name I wonder
I'm Thinking a little different now.. Blame the hunger
Sedated..chilling.. its Pain I'm Under
Could teach you how to get in good shape,
Like I'm Training runners
In deep thought when It rains and thunders"

Dope. Feelin that poetic vibe mang.
This section really sticks out to me personally.
Solid drop.
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Re: Ambition

Post by ippiki_17 »

Haz this was an awesome piece, I'll make sure to read your stuff a lot more often man. Good flow, great multi's, and just an all around great written. Keep writing yo.

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