Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Drop your written rhymes in one of the largest collections of original rhymes on the internet. The feedback in our Written Rhymes section will simply amaze you.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend

Post Reply
User avatar
Alvin
Sudonim Free
Posts: 1955
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:09 am
Wins: 8
Losses: 3
No Shows: 1
Location: CA

Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by Alvin »

We Don't Fuck Around...
-Borat-
Pack a pencil with primer, my words won't rust/
Force grenades through a stencil till my verse blows up//

Ya'll turds suck, stupid shit/
Can't tell his neck from his hips//

Or his ass from his mouth/
Talks alotta shit but can't push a metaphor out//

It's a top notch rap from a top notch crew/
We're sick on the mic like we got that flu//

So if ya come close, approach with caution/
Leave a rapper coughing on the mic...
Then leave 'em both in coffins//

I'm often soft like cotton, but my message is clear/
My words hold weight like "Dumbos" ears//

-Kau The Lion-
Where all ill, but I’m known as the smartest one,
So cunning, I never get out”fox”ed like Parkinson’s

I release my inner vet on the Internet in an art form war.
When my words hit the screen they call ‘em fly; that’s a storm door.

Haters and fans alike claim lying(lion) about the victor.
But my words last longer, they’re worth a thousand pictures.

It’s clear that no one's stopping this potent product
Cause when shit hits the fan I hold it down like ropes and bondage.

If you haven’t heard you’ll catch me later, I’m a verbal gladiator.
Throw them Christians in my den and the word’ll add some flavor.

Know your place, I’ll retaliate when your rhymes are ineffacious.
Make you . . see stars when these bars connect like constellations

-Quix-
we stay Dissing on herbs and fakes cuz we Feuding relentlesly; been Spitting Pure for days and Proven our identity
I mean Respectfully, Collectivly is everything ... We got the cure for aids and the dude who shot Kennedy!! lol

we The perfect BAlance between Certain Talents...Audio and Text plus we Body those who flex
so Lobby those regrets, cuz if 'your calling out Collectivly ILL????' ... well then its Adios, Whos Next???

we trying to Sway from the norm, portray what we've sworn from the first Day we were born
to play and Perform till our 'obituarys gets a fair read ... and displayed in a Form

Its no surprise our Roster Is ILL ... Slaughter and we kill, ruthless find us Brawling for a Bill
Drops are colder, with bars that'll 'knock you over'; just to prove you all are FallEn for our skill

fuck ya'll nigguhz who be Famous for the hype n perpitrating when your write; we got Pacing threw the night
cuz we are the higher power .. and 'know more than you think we know' we're like the freemaosns of the site

Change the site? yeah we Prolly Did!! ... put money on some head?? Yeah...didn't Cost-Me Shit!
so recognize realness or get bitch smacked, and watch us really score with a back hand like Crsoby did



-Kuhlerblynd-
You fucks seem to traffic haters, you witnessing some classic players taking over the game
They try to trap us but we're soldiers that shouldered tha chains, these bars overdosing ya brain!!!!

We know we insane, make you take blows to the frame, ya'll notice the name
It's fucking Collectively Ill like venereal diseases coming together and toasting to AIDS!!!!

You'll never approach us the same, we're the original collaborators, Ill is defined
Going against us gets you fucking cut, and anyone who has your back gets peeled from ya spine!!!

So skilled... STILL/steal, it's a crime!!! Its fucking Kuhlerblynd and Illest's Army of Doom
These people trying to throw their weight around here, but with us on board, there's hardly the room!!!

You muthafuckas bout to meet the bottom of shoes, cause we gone walk it out and stomp the masses
A bunch of sarcastic rappers that indulge when you dumbasses call us heartless bastards!!!

We love to bomb the average, and switch it up from the shit you used to
Time for Panda and Loon to hit it up with an audio and just finish you dudes...

-Alvin & Loon E Lou-
[soundcloud]http://soundcloud.com/loonelou831/colle ... -panda-and[/soundcloud]

User avatar
optic
Rookie
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Nov 18, 2011 3:34 pm
Location: HB, pa

Re: Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by optic »

that beat is nice and the flows where on point i like the hateful/dark sound to it.. raw shit.. yall are def. doing your thing
Life is what you make it, thank god for making me creative,

User avatar
Borat
Lazy Ass
Posts: 802
Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:25 am
Wins: 1
Losses: 2
No Shows: 1

Re: Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by Borat »

Legit

[ Post made via Windows Smartphone ] Image
POET OF THE YEAR 2011
Image
I'm often soft like cotton but my message is clear, my words hold weight like "dumbos" ears.
Image
Image

User avatar
Quix
Unstoppable Emcee
Posts: 2208
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 3:31 pm
Wins: 89
Losses: 29
No Shows: 1

Re: Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by Quix »

Great Work Guys!

Borat did his Thing. Kau's verse was on point, flowed ILL dope content. Loved the Constellation Bar. shit was dope. Murk's also was on point. classic Murk Shit...Dope flow, random punches, and sick ass multies.


Audio: Wow, Was Reallllly well done. the Production was nearly flawless, beat was PErfect for this piece. Alvin, did his thang rode the beat well delivering some effective content. While with Loon, I seem love everything he seems to do. His ability to ride the beat with intelect is rather one of a kind on this site. Good Shit Fellaz!!


Hope we get some REALLL Feed on this piece! Lol
Real Recognize Real ... who dah Fuck is you???

Image
Awards:
2009 Text diss of the year
2009 Most Hated
2011 Battler Of the Year

User avatar
JDR
Da Punchline King
Posts: 878
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:13 pm
Wins: 48
Losses: 3
No Shows: 3
Contact:

Re: Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by JDR »

No speakers at the moment so I'll feed the audio part when I get home but as for the text....Just being honest, I really expected more out of this. Usually, CI drops some nice readable stuff but this fell below that. No hate but i've seen a lot better from other collabs and individually. This seemed rush for the most part.

Borat - Too simple. Nothing complex just really basic lines. Way too short. I understand not wanting to stretch your bars or w/e but you have to have a really good imagination to keep the pace of your flow reading it. Unless you got a bunch of dumb kids that stumble the words and have trouble reading, it just doesn't sound right reciting it back. Some lines showed potential but overall, really weak verse. My advice, come up with some kind of system as to how you structure your verses. When you start getting comfortable writing, then you can insert the creativity. In a text drop, you got to either extend your bars to have more to say or just drop really hot punches.

Kau - Decent verse but some 'wtf' moments. Nicest bar in your whole verse was the opener. The Fox / Parkinson's line was clever. Besides that, some of the bars just looked like they were thrown in to meet a bar quota or something (Example: 3 and 5) and then you had some nice attempts that came up short like your closer. I honestly can't figure out what you mean in bar 2.

Quix - Really nice verse. Not many complaints. You math'd the multies out to really make this piece sound good. Something that was nice was the lack of one dimentional multies and how you changed up the scheme and still made it sound good. A lot of self braggin but thats what these type of collabs are about so homerun verse...

EX: we The perfect BAlance between Certain Talents...Audio and Text plus we Body those who flex
so Lobby those regrets, cuz if 'your calling out Collectivly ILL????' ... well then its Adios, Whos Next???"

Nothing flashy but the topic doesn't require that. My favorite bar because the multies fit really nice, it sounds good, and i like how you changed it up and still kept the bar in tact without overly stretching it.

Murk -
I was feelin' your verse for the most part but I didn't like the way you used your multies in a lot of lines. Your first line in a bar was legit but then you'd have a lot to say and close it with another bar. If your droppin' those "not really making a point, just doing the collab" bars that you usually see in these types, then you can for sure word the opening 2nd line in the bar better. It was either that or the multi came to late and ruined the momentum of the bar (Ex. Bar 1)

I liked the 5th bar. Nothing flashy but worded nice and sounded good.
Battle Record
40-2
Image
2010 Awards
Illest Battler || Illest Punchline Artist || Battle of the Year -vs- Cee4

jiro
Rookie
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 4:23 pm

Re: Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by jiro »

very nice..
esp loons sinster flow :twisted:

Loon E Lou
Fuck You, Pay Me
Posts: 1024
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:46 am
Wins: 11
Losses: 6
Location: 831, California

Re: Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by Loon E Lou »

^thats the first time ive heard that one haha

[ Post made via iPhone ] Image

User avatar
Quix
Unstoppable Emcee
Posts: 2208
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 3:31 pm
Wins: 89
Losses: 29
No Shows: 1

Re: Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by Quix »

Appreciate the feed/breakdwon JDR

uppin
Real Recognize Real ... who dah Fuck is you???

Image
Awards:
2009 Text diss of the year
2009 Most Hated
2011 Battler Of the Year

Loon E Lou
Fuck You, Pay Me
Posts: 1024
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:46 am
Wins: 11
Losses: 6
Location: 831, California

Re: Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by Loon E Lou »

Ummm........

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image

User avatar
Borat
Lazy Ass
Posts: 802
Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:25 am
Wins: 1
Losses: 2
No Shows: 1

Re: Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by Borat »

We did it for teh lulz

[ Post made via Windows Smartphone ] Image
POET OF THE YEAR 2011
Image
I'm often soft like cotton but my message is clear, my words hold weight like "dumbos" ears.
Image
Image

User avatar
ChaseTheDream
Potential Emcee
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:50 am

Re: Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by ChaseTheDream »

downloaded, ipoded, and bassed.
Beaten more bitches than Michael Vick

User avatar
Kuhlerblynd
But I See Right Thru You
Posts: 2724
Joined: Tue Aug 17, 2010 8:04 pm
Wins: 43
Losses: 8
No Shows: 2
Contact:

Re: Collectively ILL Collab / Text & Audio

Post by Kuhlerblynd »

Buuummmmppppp
--~Murk McNasty~--
Battle WRECKord 42-8
Image

Post Reply

Return to “Written Rhymes”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest