soldier's move

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Static
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soldier's move

Post by Static »

if you could would you imagine me a soldier
picture me creeping through a room, evading the vultures
while attempting to keep pistols inside of they holsters
look at these poser fantasizing over their posters
their hopeless, let's hope this doesn't move us closer
hold up let's smoke this, did you notice that dope odor
be surprised like Gomer Pyle
i'm rolling solo homer style
no Simpsons, i mean that i'm a philosopher
need a good girl, brushing bad bitches off of her
I'm so far ahead, dude you really need binoculars
on another level go seek me out on your monitors
fresh to death i'm killing it in a casket
i'm evil, i got Bruce Wayne going bat shit
if you a hater talking shit, get blasted
when revenge is exacted, nigga, thats it
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M33Kish
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Re: soldier's move

Post by M33Kish »

Always been a fan of how easy multies come from you jigz keep the good shit up, and it would be nice hearing an audio for 1 of these writtens... shit would flow like watered down jello G.

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Borat
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Re: soldier's move

Post by Borat »

Sometime's you add too many words into your bars so your flow sketches at times, maybe it's different when you rap it, not sure. Your multies are nice, your lyrical content is decent, I'm not a huge fan of brag tracks but I understand a lot of people enjoy them. Overall I would say you have some good stuff, keep up the hard work! Oh you should try writting to a topic... maybe something you feel strongly about as of late.

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NoVeL
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Re: soldier's move

Post by NoVeL »

Sometime's you add too many words into your bars so your flow sketches at times, maybe it's different when you rap it, not sure. Your multies are nice, your lyrical content is decent, I'm not a huge fan of brag tracks but I understand a lot of people enjoy them. Overall I would say you have some good stuff, keep up the hard work! Oh you should try writting to a topic... maybe something you feel strongly about as of late.
I second this bro. Over-polished vocab can take away the shine from your drops. I'd go back, touch up the unnecessary schemes and give some more meaningful thought to it. Has potential though keep it up yo.

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Kuhlerblynd
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Re: soldier's move

Post by Kuhlerblynd »

I agree with them, to a degree. I think your flow is fine, I just think you should polish the verse. This type of shit here ---
i'm evil, i got Bruce Wayne going bat shit
Is fucking sick. I liked it when you twisted wordplay into it the most. My type of writer. Peep anything in my profile if you would like to return some feed fam. Thanks and keep the drops flowing!
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Static
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Re: soldier's move

Post by Static »

the flow works when i spit it and can twist the words a little here and there and thanks, i really want to get better at using wordplay shit like that and stuff
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Borat
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Re: soldier's move

Post by Borat »

Word. Just keep practicing and read some work from the vets. You can learn a lot bro

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