they say we have the capability
but whats the probability
of me gettin the utility
while im goin through these fucked up facilities
are you even fucking hearing me
they say what dont kill you make you stronger
but whats the point of livin longer
if it feels like they scrathed out yo life with a permanent marker
i have no life but A life
brother with a B life
one life
no in reality it is no life
Life been takin by the PLAYGROUND
shot up by these depressing rounds
now im in the corner sittin on the ground
knees up, arms crossed up, with my head down
lookin like a sad clown
with a depressin frown
bout to cut my self with a razor
couldnt stop me if you had a tazor
Got love for my bros but fuck all da hatas
bout to cause my self bodily harm
to my arms
make my arms look like the field of a farm
yeah i know it aint no pretty scene
but do you know orignally what SLA means
Slicing Legs n Arms
yeah it aint no charm
they say the Devil mean but reality is meaner
blood runnin off my arms to the end of the fingers
heart cryin out for someone to love it i guess you can call it a singer
blood runnin low
face losin its glow
curtins closin
its the end of the show
i take one more blow, then take a bow
fuck it fuck it..my life is out
Suicidal Intentions
Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend
Suicidal Intentions
Time For Neck Slashin, Back Lashin,
Seatbelt Better Be Fastend
Cuz Here Enters Da So]uthern Livin Assassin
Seatbelt Better Be Fastend
Cuz Here Enters Da So]uthern Livin Assassin
- The Man
- All Whitey Then
- Posts: 170
- Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2010 4:01 am
- Wins: 7
- Losses: 2
- Location: The Alabama Woods
- Contact:
Re: Suicidal Intentions
This was alright, had a nice poetry feel to it, would probably belong in the poetry section more than here. Has potential.
Re: Suicidal Intentions
It def had a poetic feel to it but a nice mellow beat with somesort of strings and a mild drum rythem could really bring out everything you are saying....I really enjoyed how the intensity of it grew as a whole towards the end....there where some spots where you could have worked on your wording when opening up your next line which was pretty much the biggest literary problem I see in this....aside from that for anyone who believes what I believe yea there is a proper way to do things but when emotion is the primary energy being utilized for the message you can't really tell someone what the proper way to feel is you know.....I mean we are not machines or have monotone emotions you know....so when it comes to emotion and conveying said emotion you can't really limit it....keep posting and dont forget to feed
I CHANNEL all my ENERGY,
while my SPIRIT is SOLEMN//
you HEAR my WORDS in the STREETS-->
because I'm SPEAKING in VOLUMES//
I'm like the MEDIA with QUESTIONS-I never stop SHOOTING
so IF you really got a PROBLEM-we can make this EXCLUSIVE...//
while my SPIRIT is SOLEMN//
you HEAR my WORDS in the STREETS-->
because I'm SPEAKING in VOLUMES//
I'm like the MEDIA with QUESTIONS-I never stop SHOOTING
so IF you really got a PROBLEM-we can make this EXCLUSIVE...//
Re: Suicidal Intentions
appreciate da feed...its something i wrote about 2 years ago that i figured i would put out there but it definitely helps
Time For Neck Slashin, Back Lashin,
Seatbelt Better Be Fastend
Cuz Here Enters Da So]uthern Livin Assassin
Seatbelt Better Be Fastend
Cuz Here Enters Da So]uthern Livin Assassin
Re: Suicidal Intentions
All you needed to end the piece, everything else was unnecessary. Pretty nice drop, keep droppin'blood runnin off my arms to the end of the fingers
heart cryin out for someone to love it i guess you can call it a singer
blood runnin low
face losin its glow
curtins closin
its the end of the show
Re: Suicidal Intentions
thank you...i'll keep that in mind next time
Time For Neck Slashin, Back Lashin,
Seatbelt Better Be Fastend
Cuz Here Enters Da So]uthern Livin Assassin
Seatbelt Better Be Fastend
Cuz Here Enters Da So]uthern Livin Assassin
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