im not sure if i dropped this once before but i was lookin thru my notebook and i seen this an i figured id type it up an drop it. whatcha think?
lemme sit u down maybe take a walk
around the world but i wont make u talk
so instead i guess ill release my mind
hopefully ill find some peace in time
cuz i wont put a knife to my wrist
tho its hard livin a life like this
u dirty fuckaz always made the pain worse
when theres trouble u say my name first
but thats not the case not anymore
why u come to me actin all friendly for?
i came from the bottom tryna see the top
a lil fame got em tryna be whats hot
can i get some help? no one replied
i prayed to god but i guess he lied
and i cant forget all of my haters too
revenge is comin so ill catch u later too
starin at the sky yall tearin at my pride
and i bet yall aint even carin if i cry
so this is it i guess this mess is mine
u either walk with me or get left behind
hmm
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- -TraMaTiK-
- Unstoppable Emcee
- Posts: 2046
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Re: hmm
This was purdy cool, needs a bit more emotion to it
maybe it's for a song, or just randomly written...hmmmm
either way this was a purdy smooth piece, thanx to the flow
the vibe it gave off tho' wasn't hitting for me
I say revise it a bit, maybe try some originality
writtens usually acquire a more insightful look of the mind
while this is good, it just seems like a song, keep writing
you write serious rhymes
maybe it's for a song, or just randomly written...hmmmm
either way this was a purdy smooth piece, thanx to the flow
the vibe it gave off tho' wasn't hitting for me
I say revise it a bit, maybe try some originality
writtens usually acquire a more insightful look of the mind
while this is good, it just seems like a song, keep writing
you write serious rhymes
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZtAQQh- ... re=related[/video]
- -TraMaTiK-
- Unstoppable Emcee
- Posts: 2046
- Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:59 am
- Wins: 6
- Losses: 17
Re: hmm
ya it was for an old song of mine that never got finished haha,thanks for the feed i might revise it,uppin!
- young_jobe
- Lyrically Inclined
- Posts: 134
- Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 12:40 pm
Re: hmm
deep shit.. guud shit
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