Hip Hop Forum

Rules
7 Bars/14 lines (MAX)
Due 96 hours(4 days) from time of this thread
First to 5 votes (3-0=ko/4-1=tko). Each day late is 1 against you
Voting must use categories with brief explanations.

Categories
-Storytelling
-Flow
-Creativity
-Rhyme scheme
-Metaphors & Similes
-Consistency
-Impact


Tha Dark Prince's topic is "I should've used a condom"

Shazo's topic is "Caged with a lion"

ehh@topic..but check

Prisoner of war,they cage me with this beast hoping my flesh is torn
Shook from the agressive roar,pissed myself,knowing nothing could stress me more
Viciously panting, thinking about the previous events that could have damned me
Staring into those focused eyes, pleading as if he could understand me
The beast just pacing slowly, just watching me as if he were playing mind games
Flashed the fangs that would pierce my frame, at any minute in this time frame
Think of an escape! I got nothing..This situation has sunk in..
Never liked making aquaintances, but I guess death will make his introduction
Those guards will get the torment they seek, I picture my blood staining its teeth
Maybe I'm feeling strange from the heat, but I notice a change in the beast
Still my hearts goin rapidly, I can already feel my bones shredding through those jagged teeth
But I notice the look has become saddening, the growl filled with anger now display agony
He plunged! I blacked out from the shock, I knew this was my last minute on earth
Opened my eyes to the vision of blood, and a cub as I live a little longer to witness a birth/

quick edit to add the "h" in earth

In black apparel I'm starin at a barrel as it ignites & rattles at an angle, time slows as the bullet which holds the wrath of those lives I dismantled travels |
there she lays in her tomb gloomed, there is he whom sprouted from her womb fumed, a tiny drop of semen from this heathen that grew to be my doom soon |
I was too rude to be the groom, each day gettin atleast like 2 nude as the prelude, rememberin her in that sexy costume in a locked room I was really consumed |
havin flashes of habits of lust on that night when I was havin yet smashin her trust was like a dream filled with screams, grabbings and thrusts, now I'm bout ta burn n turn ta fragments of ashes n dust |
it's ironic how psychotic & demonic we get when things get erotic, I wasn't thinking without blinking I put my dick-in n went supersonic n spilt my tonic while she moaned harmonic |
Reviled while she's beguiled as I heard about the child, faked a smile and left 'em fa death in a place that's vile, drove away insane sayin just wait a while.. |
his birth was like a curse when they found HIV I played it possum,
thought he was done and I needn't run when my homie said ''I got 'em''
n now ten years later at her prayers I'm thinking ''Damn! I should've used a condom..''
bam!
(gets shot)

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

Storytelling: Tie (both were great)
Flow: Tie
Creativity:Shazo (that ending was a nice twist)
Rhyme scheme: Tie (both had some complex and simple ones)
Metaphors & Similes: Dark Prince
Consistency:Tie
Impact:Tie (both had some depth in similar and different ways)

Vote: Shazo

this was the hardest vote i had to make in any battle i've ever voted on to be honest, here u got shazo with a twist at the end unexpected with his given topic, and then the expected ending with dark prince's topic, however he threw in a child also..which was also expected, and he had a bit of humor mixed in with it, i like that played it possum line, it all came down to the ending for me, i'm giving it to shazo for his originality and taking the topic to a different direction, good writtens from both

-Storytelling.. SHAZO
-Flow.. DARK
-Creativity.. SHAZO
-Rhyme scheme.. DARK
-Metaphors & Similes.. DARK
-Consistency.. SHAZO
-Impact.. SHAZO


THIS BATTLE WAS SICK. VERY CLOSE. DARK HAD THE FLOW ON LOCK WHILE SHAZO HAD BETTER MULTIS. I LIKED BOTH STORYS, EACH HAD THEIR OWN LIL TWIST. BOTH WRITERS NEED THE SAME TOPIC TO JUDGE WHO'S IS BETTER...STUPID EVO!! OVERALL SHAZO'S VERSE KEPT ME MORE ENTERTAINED. HE MADE HIS SUSPENSEFUL WHICH IS WHY HE GETS MY VOTE..

VOTE: SHAZO

not true, a good writer can transform any topic to sound equally as good as the next

Storytelling - Shazo
Flow - Dark Prince
Creativity - Shazo
Rhyme scheme - Dark Prince
Metaphors & Similes - Dark Prince
Consistency - Shazo
Impact - Shazo

Dark Prince did what he could with what he had, but it wasnt enough against the lion in a cage story shazo came up with.. i mean ive heard that story somewhere before, but to put it into your own words like that was fun to read. it had that wow factor to it that dark prince was missing. keep up this good work guys! great battle


mvgt Shazo

ScottJames wrote:
BOTH WRITERS NEED THE SAME TOPIC TO JUDGE WHO'S IS BETTER...STUPID EVO!!

first off, your font color is disgusting...

and 2nd, this was to test how well each person can manipulate and write the topic given to them, transform it like shazo did, that's a perfect example that others should follow, anyone can write impressive, but this was to see how well they can use what's given to them, turn it around and come out with something unexpected and tasteful, like making desserts with the most bitter ingredients

anyways shazo wins by ko, good writing dark, keep droppin

-updated and closed-