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leeroi green vs AntiMaTTer (1st Round)

Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 9:52 am
by Ambiguous Realm
Rules
7 Bars/14 lines (MAX)
Due 96 hours(4 days) from time of this thread
First to 5 votes (3-0=ko/4-1=tko). Each day late is 1 against you
Voting must use categories with brief explanations.

Categories
-Storytelling
-Flow
-Creativity
-Rhyme scheme
-Metaphors & Similes
-Consistency
-Impact

leeroi green's topic is "The one that got away"

AntiMaTTer's topic is "Bully"

Re: leeroi green vs AntiMaTTer (1st Round)

Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 9:57 am
by AntiMaTTer
...k sounds fun cool good luck leeroi or w/e face



-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok so this aint my best work and not too great that i usually do but here we go, did this pretty quick but lets get it goin.






Im just an Average Kid whos always Sad As Shit but aint a Pacifist...
I hate my family, hate my life, thats pretty Accurate plus my Dads A Bitch...
Who just Slaps His Kid, im sick of his shit and tired of school so im Fighting Back...
Devise a graph for a plan of attack, these nerds got it easy and im not Liking That...
I Strike A Match, smoke an L and see this kid who made me Visualize The Past...
When this muhfucka mocked my dead mother and just Criticized And Laugh...
I should Victimize His Ass, Rectify My Path, now im Making My Mind Up...
If Satan Defines Us then ima kill this bitch for what he said, Taking His Life Cuz...
Aint afraid of death, or scared of prison, my minds a dangerous mess and i cant Bare to Visit...
My own dad and its so sad, cuz i know my father killed my mom and i was There To Witness!...
It aint Fair So Listen, and you wonder why i bully kids?... thats when i found my Fathers Pistol...
To Slaughter Kids Thru out the hallways of This School and no one will Honor This Fool...12
I Start Bucking Shots watch the people Fuckin Drop and escape after the Shots Bang ...
Now the nerds dead, i make it home for Gods Sake, take dads life and my own...theyll remember the name Scott James..


Thats it, hope yall enjoy, good night folks (and fuck you in advance Scott.)


(edited a typo, actually Evo pointed that out and i didnt update it on my note pad lol)



leeroi ima be real disappointed if you no show.



neato i win.

be cool if i could get some feedback still

Re: leeroi green vs AntiMaTTer (1st Round)

Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:15 am
by leeroi green
I try dearly to write clearly
Perhaps if I insert CAPS you might hear me
Nah...
Sitting for ten minutes to come up with nothing
Then when I finally come up with something
What the Fuck is up with this pen
I crumble what's writ on the verge of giving up on this shit
Justify writers block with this is a shit topic making excuses
Another page and a new pen umm ......... face it its useless
I panic knowing I got votes against me for missing the deadline
A no show is a no no I gotta get my head right
I can't concentrate I need a neuro surgeon so thoughts operate
But its all a blank and so be it this topic'll be the one that got away

Re: leeroi green vs AntiMaTTer (1st Round)

Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:35 am
by Ambiguous Realm
lol at that..

Storytelling: Anti
Flow: Anti
Creativity: Tie
Rhyme scheme: Anti
Metaphors & Similes: Tie
Consistency: Tie
Impact: Anti

Vote: Anti

i think Anti took this, he came a bit more direct but at least made it about someone else, leeroi surprised me a bit, the direction was cool, the ending became a bit more expected when i read half way, but still a nice touch, good job showing up and not being dq'd though, but i still think you could've put a bit more effort, just a bit.. and it would've been a little harder to call

Re: leeroi green vs AntiMaTTer (1st Round)

Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:19 am
by - Calico -
Flow: Anti (even though the last bar didnt match)

Imagery: Anti

StoryTelling: Anti

Vocabulary: Neither

Enjoyment: Anti

Vote: Anti

Leeroi I know you got a pretty Difficult topic, but I didnt really like the direction you took it to demonstrate your writers block. Because of that I didnt think you had much Leeway to create Imagery or a real Story off of it so the direction you took really limited what I felt you could score from Me. With that being said I thought you did ok with the topic of Writers block but I thought Anti was pretty decent with his Topic of Bullying and how it caused him to become more rebelious. Good Battle both of you.



Vote on my Battle

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/calic ... 23388.html

Re: leeroi green vs AntiMaTTer (1st Round)

Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 12:11 pm
by pest
flow- anti
image- anti
storytelling-anti
creativity- leeroi (even tho it wasnt to great to me)
vocab- anti
enjoyment-anti

leeroi wasnt too on topic to me, and its a topical battle so really thats the main key.

anti, that reminded me of something sapient would spit from sandpeople for some reason. it was a dope drop

mvgt anti

[ Post made via Windows Smartphone ] Image

Re: leeroi green vs AntiMaTTer (1st Round)

Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 12:32 pm
by Arvincible
3-0 ko no need to vote here lol

Re: leeroi green vs AntiMaTTer (1st Round)

Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 12:40 pm
by Ambiguous Realm
still giving it till the 1st of august for non-participants to vote, otherwise all current votes will determine (that goes all for the other battles as well, not just this one)



3-0 + the day late from leeroi makes it a 4-0 win by ko for anti

-updated and closed-