GRIM VERSUS 32NEILZ (GRIM WINS 1st rd)

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GRIM VERSUS 32NEILZ (GRIM WINS 1st rd)

Post by Kuhlerblynd »

THREE WAY MATCH!



House rules


6 bars


Due Friday, June 3rd by midnight, Eastern Time USA.
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Re: GRIM VERSUS MENACE VERSUS 32NEILZ (1ST ROUND)

Post by 32neilz »

Chizeck

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Re: GRIM VERSUS MENACE VERSUS 32NEILZ (1ST ROUND)

Post by Grim »

check..just a threeway free for all? what's the due date
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Re: GRIM VERSUS MENACE VERSUS 32NEILZ (1ST ROUND)

Post by Kuhlerblynd »

The due date is posted, and yes, free for all.
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Re: GRIM VERSUS MENACE VERSUS 32NEILZ (1ST ROUND)

Post by Grim »

I'm a MENACE for both these bitches,I'll have blood on my finger-Neilz
From throwing punches in bunches..you're both Steve Irwin,I'm a stinging tail

Everything ya'll bring is frail..I hate gay jokes,NEILZ,but i bet you like MEN-ACE.
I'll make 32 quit and throw his "hands up" like noon on Big Ben's face.

You couldn't shoot me off my pedestal even if you had a Thompson
The only 32 I've ever known to be "ill" was Magic Johnson.

I'll put a NEIL in the coffin of Menace just for having no info
I'll drop you to the floor from one bar,yeah,I'm calling it limbo

You ain't no "Menace to Society" I'll put you in a bag like those cheeseburgers.
O,Dog, by the way, you couldn't "steal" a victory with "three burglars"

Dennis is the only MENACE I ever really ever enjoyed reading
And Armstrong is the only NEIL that did anything worth seeing.

*Steve Irwin=crocadile hunter=killed by sting ray//line two
*Line 4//neilz is from england=big ben clock tower
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Re: GRIM VERSUS MENACE VERSUS 32NEILZ (1ST ROUND)

Post by 32neilz »

The futures looking GRIM for MENACE and he's tourney counterpart// round one and two mcs getting torn-a-part// like the lion in wizard of oz- cos neither got no heart// it's a pity y'all had to wave the prize goodbye at the very start//

No one feels- these- bums, I'll kill-they're-mums// and have em GRIM-MENACE-ing (reminicing) for the women who carried them in tums// 3minus2 (32)= neilz, you do the math and figure sums//

*G*ay *R*apper *I*nto *M*ales, MENACING men, searching for assholes like the holy Grail// the only GRIM thing bout you is your homosexual history from jail// and your gay porn murder mystery mags in the mail//

The only shit your MENACING is your mothers bank account, cos you prolly still live at home-just a lay about// lazy ass surburban kid with dreams of hip hoppin no doubt// say goodbye cos neilz'll pop and drop him now//

Fuck GRIM and MENACE, 2 faggots locked in love... Like a bad game of tennis// suck when it comes to balls// dick in ass- thats GRIM but they find it comfortable// love a case to "crack" like a constable//

Imma MENACE, why name yourself after death (GRIM) cos that's all I deliver// fire a full quiver into both of y'all's liver, and have ya slumped face first floating downriver//

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Re: GRIM VERSUS MENACE VERSUS 32NEILZ (1ST ROUND)

Post by Kuhlerblynd »

Menace no shows, lets the battle be just between the both of them.
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Re: GRIM VERSUS 32NEILZ (1ST ROUND)

Post by Alvin »

Grim... The only thing i didn't like about your verse was the last 2 bars... I didn't even feel like much of a punch was packed in the last bar, even though the concept was a nice one. The again, i didn't really like your first punch either. I wish your set ups tied more into your punches. This was prolly my favorite name flip:
"The only 32 I've ever known to be "ill" was Magic Johnson."
Not a bad verse, i imagine having it as a three way made it a bit irregular for you to write.


32neilz... Man, you flow is hard to catch with this type of structure. Some of the name flips didn't really work for me man, like:
"have em GRIM-MENACE-ing (reminicing)"
The attempt was pretty cool, just not executed correctly. I honestly feel like you wrote a lot more than grim did, which is working for you but against you at the same time. You didn't have too many OH factors to be honest. Not a bad verse, but the structure mess's it up for me cuz it feels like you wrote 2wice as much as your opponent, which isn't fair.


Overall MVGT Grim... 32 had some nice stuff, but I'm torn down to if he would have wrote similar length would he still have been as good? Or is he only good because he had 2wice as much as Grim. its only my opinion though.

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Re: GRIM VERSUS 32NEILZ (1ST ROUND)

Post by Loon E Lou »

Well well well, i feel this couldve been alot more interesting if it had been 1 on 1 from the start. I feel there was maybe a little wasted energy having to worry about another opponent who doesnt even show. Anywho, neilz vs grim i suppose breaks down like so:

Personals/nameplay: grim. I think the line panda quoted above did it for me.

Punches: grim as well. Jus seemed more direct.

Flow: i say a tie. It took me a bit to catch neilz flo, but once i did, it was a smooth read. Grim always has a good flow to his. Strucure wise as well. But both flowed well to me.

Mvgt grim. I think grim jus edged it with the personals and punches. Gj fellas

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Re: GRIM VERSUS 32NEILZ (1ST ROUND)

Post by Kuhlerblynd »

Okay, Grim, I personally think that your verse was written better than most of the ones you have posted before, with more direct punches and wordplay... It's not something that defines hard hitting, but it was there thru most of the verse anyway... This bar right here was more than exceptional in my eyes...


You couldn't shoot me off my pedestal even if you had a Thompson
The only 32 I've ever known to be "ill" was Magic Johnson.


32, this is one of your better verses also, however you still need the impact in your punchlines and delivery. You did better with your wordplay in most of this, but in a couple lines they kind of took away from your delivery by not making it as clear.

Over-all, my vote goes to Grim. Easier flow to find, better use of wordplay, harder hitting punchlines... He made it more enjoyable over-all.



Thread closed and records updated.

Grim wins KO.
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