Jack Da Rippa Vs. Immortal Jav (JDR wins TKO)

[Immortal Jav]

6 Bars
Due Date: Friday
No Dickride Votes
Check,

[JDR]

Check...

[Immortal Jav]

Dropping Friday.... @ late Noon

[JDR]

Wow. i forgot about this. I'll hit somethin up soon.

-- Sun Apr 10, 2011 3:54 pm --

You been MIA lately so if you see this, match my 4

Aiight....

Listen folks, this bitch provoked, we tied neck-n-neck? Then give this kidd a Rope
& I musta missed tha joke & not tha shit thats smoked, but you Gone-Ja and HE'S Convinced hes Dope?

When a diss is wrote, he don’t tend to cope, so Immortals taught a lesson like he invested in a tutor
Maybe on the net they impressed wit ya future, but in real life, anything Jav-Ah-Scripts gets left on a Computer

And you could bet hes a loser, tryna contest a shooter wit nothin’ but grudge and resentment
I don’t need someone to fuss or pretend with, coz the only niggas measuring up to Javelin prolly judge the Olympics

Ya nothin’ realistic, a misfit when I aim to thrill. Guarenteed to roll kids the way a Gator will
Ya not serious so hows this hater real?, juss look at Immortals Technique, hes not a Major Deal

[Immortal Jav]

aight....


'this kid is slept on, but with weak props'
ill go to B.K. if i wanna beef stop coz i already put Jack-in-a-box!!
Ja(ck) dated (jaded) but thats Faded as a ripper relations

this kid wouldn't drop a bar (code) if rip the jacker fell for the self!!
'the ripper can tell'

'ill snap ya neck in half' i cause duality to ya penatration like iphone sex apps!!
Rip can inspect that, when I twist's his head back

the ripper aint focused ill have this cat more shooken then Michael J fox Doing Arobics!!
jack Dried & ripped coz 'i cause more problems to jack than a gay pirate skit'


Exspo's jack sparrow is a priate
jack in the box is a restruant

[JDR]

Aiight.....we's uppin' I guess?

[Immortal Jav]

i thought this would get some views
what happened?

[Moneymaker]

Flow-jack
Punches-jav
Mulities-tie
Enjoyment-jav
Nameplay-jav

MVGT-Jav

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[JDR]

haha 0-1

[Defiance]

yeah i agree

-flow is the only category i got "immortal in"

clean sweep by "Jack"

enjoyment
punches
multis
personals
style

^all go to jack


another sub par challenger

but do ya thing Immortal

1-1

upping

[Grim]

Jack had better nameplay wordplay and personals..and punches on this one...jav..you're improving though so keep at it..
Mvgt:Jack

[JDR]

*edit* cos i thot it was over. My bad bruh.

2-1

[32neilz]

I'll have to say that it was a clean sweep by jack too, jav had a nice flow and some nice nameplay but overall jack came much harder.
Mvgt:jack
good battle

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Immortal Jav]

aight.... jack wins nice battle bro

[Kuhlerblynd]

Technically its not over, because the count is 3-1 but I would like to break this down bar for bar...

Jack's verse

Listen folks, this bitch provoked, we tied neck-n-neck? Then give this kidd a Rope
& I musta missed tha joke & not tha shit thats smoked, but you Gone-Ja and HE'S Convinced hes Dope?

This is an aight concept fam, but the deliver seems a bit off to me. The first line was a dope set up though IMO.

When a diss is wrote, he don’t tend to cope, so Immortals taught a lesson like he invested in a tutor
Maybe on the net they impressed wit ya future, but in real life, anything Jav-Ah-Scripts gets left on a Computer

This is a solid punch, with wordplay and a name flip involved, which is when you are at your best IMO.

And you could bet hes a loser, tryna contest a shooter wit nothin’ but grudge and resentment
I don’t need someone to fuss or pretend with, coz the only niggas measuring up to Javelin prolly judge the Olympics

This concept is dope really. I thought you might have been able to tie the set up in on this one, but that's being picky more than anything. The punchline is solid.

Ya nothin’ realistic, a misfit when I aim to thrill. Guarenteed to roll kids the way a Gator will
Ya not serious so hows this hater real?, juss look at Immortals Technique, hes not a Major Deal

This is fucking sick. Nuff said.


Im Jav's verse

'this kid is slept on, but with weak props'
ill go to B.K. if i wanna beef stop coz i already put Jack-in-a-box!!
Ja(ck) dated (jaded) but thats Faded as a ripper relations

The last line kind of throws the flow off for me. I dont know, doesnt seem to match up with the first bar, and its like you added an extra line to this bar, you feel me? The Jack In A Box is a dope concept to peeps that dont know, but this site has seen MANY of those lines used on Jack. Redundance can take away the sting of a punchline.

this kid wouldn't drop a bar (code) if rip the jacker fell for the self!!
'the ripper can tell'

I think I see the concept you were going with on this one, but the delivery is off bro.

'ill snap ya neck in half' i cause duality to ya penatration like iphone sex apps!!
Rip can inspect that, when I twist's his head back

Again, a dope concept, but maybe your first line should have been the second, as it was more of the punchlines here.

the ripper aint focused ill have this cat more shooken then Michael J fox Doing Arobics!!
jack Dried & ripped coz 'i cause more problems to jack than a gay pirate skit'

I laughed at the first line, that shit was funny. Same problem as earlier on the punchline. Jav, you have some tight ass concepts, just need to work on your delivery more and you could become one of the top text heads on site easily. Keep dropping.

Flow- Jack, his multi's killed it
Mutli's- Jack
Punchlines- Jack
Nameflips/personals- Jack with a slight edge due to better delivery

Over-all, Jack was just more consistant and better with the delivery of his punchlines.


Thread is closed and records updated.

Jack wins 4-1, TKO.